This bites

Ok, so "This bites" is both literal and figurative.

The girls are entering a stage that I really don't like.

Not that biting is new, but they are starting to leave marks and bruises these days.

We have had really bad experiences when it comes to biting.  Not gonna drudge it up in its entirety, but long story short we moved Evan to a new daycare when we lived in St. Louis because he was getting bit so frequently and nothing was being done about it.  (most daycares have policies regarding biters)  But regardless of the fact Evan was getting bit, I was always happy our child wasn't the biter.

SO.

Fast forward a bit - the deciding factor in separating the girls into their own cribs when they were 9 months old, was because Brynn was biting Avery.

Fast forward a little more - I used to put the girls in the same crib to play while I showered, until I'd come out of the shower and Avery would be screaming bloody murder because Brynn bit her. 

And now - Avery has started to return the favor.  I think most of it is teething, but a little of it seems to be aggression and not knowing how to express their frustration at this point.

And unless I'm a foot away to break them up before they can chomp down... like in this instance:   
(although it does kinda seem like Avery was asking for it by sticking her fingers in Brynn's mouth, huh?)

...I'm gonna be dealing with tears.  And bruises.  On arms.  And shoulders.  And sometimes the face.

The face that lights my life...

...brought to you by Brynn.

For my Mom

These just popped out today, and they made me think of you.

It was "supposed" to rain all day, but
the sun peeked out and decided to stay.
I count my blessings, especially today,
when life sometimes seems cra-zay!

I love you, Mom!

The eyes that light my life...

...brought to you by Evan.

I won, I won, I won!!!!

I can hardly contain myself, can you tell?

I won a contest for an online photography workshop through a photography blog that I read.

You may remember me saying in my big update post that I'm moving in the direction of calling myself a photographer... for real... 

And if you missed it... that might actually have been my goal - because I have been so hesitant about stating my intentions out loud because I'm so afraid of failure and scared to death that I might actually stink at "what I do."  (ie: taking pictures)  Ok, the being scared to death and afraid of failure is a different post completely, and I'll probably never actually get around to writing about it - but long story short, I think that's been my biggest obstacle in starting a photography business. Well, that, and having no idea what the name should be, and maybe a few other things.

But there.  I said it.  That's my goal.  I want to start a photography business.

My heart is racing as I'm typing these thoughts. 

I had a conversation a few months ago with the owner of Photo Pro in Cedar Rapids and he told me the 3 things I should concentrate on are lighting, lenses & education.  And I was in complete agreement with him. 

I made an investment and bought a nice lens and an off-camera flash.

Now I need the "education". 


So I had been eyeballing the workshop.  But the cost was making me hesitate.  And then the workshop filled up completely and I was out of luck until the next one was offered who-knows-when.

But then, I won it. 

Can you say God Wink?  Or maybe God shove?

I also had the complete privilege to assist my friend as she photographed a wedding over the weekend.  (The same friend who photographed my kids last summer, and did Avery & Brynn's 1 year photographs)  I had such a great opportunity to pick her brain and get a chance to photograph parts of a wedding with no pressure but the pressure I put on myself!  And I observed, and I learned, and I tried, and it was fun! 

Do I think I'm ready to run out and start a business now?  No.

But I'm a few steps closer.

And I can hardly contain myself!

A smile that lights my life...

...brought to you by Avery:

As easy as riding a bike...

...or not.

Once again I am perplexed as to how to teach Evan.

Not sure if you remember my duck-tape-to-the-feet-to-teach-Evan-to-ride-a-tricycle or not?

But I'm considering doing it again with the bike we got him for his birthday.

He just doesn't get the pedals, and I have no idea how to teach him.

Any of you out there that might have advise on this, I'm all ears!

My very first garden

I did it!

I started a vegetable "garden".

I figure I've read enough blogs with people talking about their vegetable gardens, that I'm inspired to try it myself.  Actually, I just really like the idea of living on the earth...

Despite the fact I spent the first 12 years of my life around plants at my parents nursery business, I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to planting a vegetable garden.

I started small.

Very small.

We actually have raised beds in our yard from previous owners. 
But it's gonna take a lot of work to prep the area and clear all the grass and random yard clippings before it's ready to plant anything.  I'm hoping to get it cleared out, but I'm not holding my breath.

Scary, huh?

I even have a little head start on one of the pepper plants.

Oh goodness, wish me luck.

Seriously, no idea.

This is what we do for fun...

...when it's nice out. 

Although, I'm pretty sure when I took this picture it was the last nice day we've had, and that was 2 weeks ago... so we are praying for the warm weather to come back!

Mommy Guilt

I'm tired of the Mommy Guilt. 

I think all Mommy's know what Mommy Guilt is, since it's something that gets delivered to you right along with your first child - in fact, it might even get handed to you at conception, heck even when you first start thinking about having a child. 

I have done an ok job of accepting my Mommy Guilt and realizing that it will be a part of my life no matter if I stay at home, work outside the home, and no matter the decisions I make regarding my children. The shoulda, coulda, woulda of parenting.

But right now my Mommy Guilt is at an all time high.

We got the results back from Avery's allergy testing on Monday.

She is for sure allergic to milk, and borderline for peanut, egg & bananas (sure enough, bananas).

I'm really trying to sort my emotions about this right now... mostly the feelings that I have essentially been poisoning her for her entire 15+ months of life by giving her milk... such a helpless, horrible feeling.  (as a side note... milk is in A LOT of what we eat)

I realize that is a slightly irrational emotion, afterall, I didn't know.  But it doesn't mean that I don't still have those feelings running through my brain. 

I was very concerned she wouldn't transition well to soy milk, but so far she has.  She's been a bit cranky on and off since yesterday, but I'm also thinking it's teeth coming in, and hoping it's not the soy milk.  (there's that darn Mommy Guilt again)

Now hop on over to this morning as I'm getting breakfast ready.  We eat bananas all the time.  The kids love them.  I love them.  Dan loves them.  Avery can't have them.  I give her some cantaloupe.  I give Evan and Brynn bananas.  She sees the bananas.  She freaks out.  She wants bananas.   Mommy Guilt.

The good news is once her skin clears up we will be able to try adding the "borderline" foods back into her diet and see how she reacts.

I've been digging through all my pictures trying to find one that will show just how awful her skin looked, and I'm thinking you'll be able to see it on this one, although this wasn't even as bad as it got.

We were also given a Rx cream for her skin by the allergist, and it only took one application for her skin to look nearly perfect.  I was so excited that her skin has looked so good the past week, that I was really hoping the results would come back with no allergies.

Ha.

It didn't, and we will just make the adjustments we need to.  And I'll go on accepting the Mommy Guilt for what it is and just do the best I can.

Being a Mom is AWESOME

                  Always:

       hard Work

                       Exhausting

                self Sacrificing

               lOving

                  Mostly:

                              the bEst job in the world

Sending lots of love out to all the Mom's I know and love.

Avery & shoes go together like Brynn & books do.

It's just that I have never taken any pictures of Avery with the shoes that she adores, because up until recently she has been sticking them in her mouth instead of on her feet.