Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Understanding Loss

This morning I prepared to send a card out to my cousin with the following verse:

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  
Psalm 73:26

After writing today's date down I had to do a double take.

Has it really been 5 years?

I remember vividly how emotional this time was for me 5 years ago.  I had just started a new job in a new town, found out I was pregnant shortly thereafter, my brother was preparing to be deployed to Iraq, and my Grandfather's health was failing rapidly. 

And 5 years ago today I experienced my first loss of a close family member.

I remember feeling fortunate that it took 25 years before I ever had to experience a loss like that, but also having no idea how to process those emotions because it was a situation I had no experience with.  And goodness, I was already emotional as it was.

So I dug around this morning and found the flier from my Grandpa's Memorial Service and I want to share a part of it that is sticking with me this morning:

The Lord has blessed us with so many good things in our lives that we might think He has abandoned us when sorrow comes along.  In our sorrow we may not feel His Presence but that doesn't change His promises to be with us... and we may not understand, but He doesn't ask us to.  All He asks is that we trust Him. 

The hardest part of my faith has been not understanding why certain things happen ~ why "God allows it."  Losing someone is SO hard for the human brain to comprehend, especially when it doesn't seem like 'their time.'  And as difficult as it will always be for us to understand, God gave us his words to provide comfort, as long as we trust in him.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  
Psalm 73:26

He was an amazing man, is thought of often, and will always be loved and missed...


TxSizeHull said...

Lori - As I read this, I wasn't sure where it was leading, then I began to wonder if it might be about "Grandpa Peter Esau" as I used to call him. I agree - it's hard to believe and 'feel' that it's been 5 years. I only had the privilege of knowing him for about the same amount of time that he has been gone but there was so much that I just adored. Thanks for bringing my thoughts back to a very special person. :o)

Sharie said...

What a sweet, loving post about your beloved Grandpa. I can relate to many of your thoughts about losing someone you love.

So glad you have such wonderful memories of him and the impact he had on your life. As a Grandma, I want to pour as much love as possible into my granddaughters so they will have such memories of me when I go to Heaven and wait for them to visit me.....someday!

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