the Mommy Brain

I have been very frustrated with my Mommy Brain lately. This morning I threw a load of laundry in the washer only to realize after half of it was in and already wet, that it was the clean laundry I just pulled out of the dryer.

I have been so unfocused, and extremely distracted lately. I know it comes with the territory of having three little ones to run around after - but I'm recognizing that my lack of focus is the reason I have been so frustrated lately.

I am a task completer. Always have been. I think just about anyone who has worked with me in the past probably knows this. I have a really hard time even starting on anything if I don't think I will be able to complete it.

Kind of a silly example, but the only one I can come up with right now, emails; I will open an email, skim it, get interrupted, mark the email as unread thinking I will get back to it, then forget to. (sorry if you are one that I have done this to, by the way)

I am very process oriented. Everything I do, I have a specific way I do it. Folding towels for example, depending on what towel it is, I have a certain way I fold it. Emptying the dishwasher. I do it the SAME way EVERY time.

Unless I get interrupted.

Which I do.

A Lot.

When I am interrupted doing just about anything, by the time I return to whatever it is, I usually do it "wrong," or there is something that doesn't go "quite right."

Oh yeah, have I mentioned I'm a bit of a perfectionist too?

So it frustrates me when things "don't go as planned." ie: re-washing the same stuff I JUST GOT FINISHED WASHING!

Then I look around my house and see how disorganized it is, and it's suffocating.

I 100% realize that I need to LET IT GO! I think that is partly why I am writing this as a blog post. Mostly it's a bit of cheap therapy. Partly it's a way to get my friends and family who read my blog to support me in finding ways to LET IT GO or get more focused!

It's even more important because I have started losing sleep over this. For the past week when I go to bed, I just lay there with my eyes wide open unable to wind down and forget about everything that I haven't gotten done. One night I finally gave in and just got out of bed and spent a half an hour writing down everything that was on my mind, in list format.

I asked Dan if I could have the house to myself for a day. He looked at me like I was crazy. Can you imagine how much I could do if I had no interruptions? Oh, I'd be in heaven!

I just re-read what I wrote and I realize that maybe I am not prioritizing very well. But one thing to consider, is that I have never had an opportunity to organize my house after moving in last fall! One week after we moved into this house I was put on bedrest. Couldn't do it then! And obviously, since the girls were born in February, things have been a little hectic around here, and I've never had a solid chunk of time to work on finding a place for everything! We still have quite a few boxes that have remained unpacked, which maybe explains my 'suffocation' feeling a little better?

Ugh - like I said, cheap therapy. I feel better getting all that off my chest!

Now, I really should put the computer away and get to my list!