The hole in my heart

I have long known about a hole that exists in my heart.

Lately it seems that it has been growing larger and larger.

Not long ago I wrote about the suffocating feeling I have been getting in my own house, from all the stuff I haven't accomplished.

And that is all it is. Stuff.

I am constantly looking around me, seeing everything that is missing. And trying to fill that hole in my heart with stuff. Organization, internet, task completion, being something that I'm probably not.

When deep down, in that heart of mine, I know there is only one thing that can fill the hole.

God.

I have a God-shaped hole in my heart.

This is something I know to be true, yet I still find myself falling away, crawling back, and falling away yet again.

I'd like to think that I am crawling my way back right now. I know that I can never truly be fulfilled, even if I organize my house in every possible way, even if I own every nice thing I can possibly get my hands on, even if everything happened perfectly the way I planned it to.

The only way I will ever truly be fulfilled is by walking the path of my life with God in my heart, by my side, and possibly carrying me along the way.

Friends, I have a long way to go. Thanks for being there with me.